This week was my first days back to a regular routine. It was so nice to wake up with a purpose and a place to go. Then there was today, Friday..my first day "off" to be spent any way that I wanted.
Several years ago Dave's company changed their hours to working 4 longer days and a shorter day on Friday. So at 1pm every Friday, the familiar sound of the key in the door and in came my sweetie. He went straight to the closet, changed clothes and into the backyard he went. The routine was to first put the radio on in the yard, usually the babbling of Rush Limbaugh, and before starting chemo, pouring a Coke Zero with some coconut rum and maybe a cigar. And there he was...floating in the pool, his happy place. And that is what I saw each Friday afternoon as the weather permitted. And because it was not my happy place, I stayed inside and did whatever made me "happy". What I thought I saw and what I really saw were two different things as I'm now finding out.
What I thought I saw was him just relaxing and what he really was doing was taking care of us: he was brushing the pool, cleaning the skimmers, pulling the weeds, fertilizing, watering, washing the cars, changing lightbulbs, picking up the garbage cans that were continually knocked over by creatures, and so much more than I realized and have yet to realize. How did I think those things were happening? Did I notice, or did I even care? Of course every day I discover so much more that he was doing out of love for us and for taking care of us. I now notice nothing blooming because it's not being watered or fertilized. I notice the pool turning green because it's not being taken care of. I notice that weeds because they are not being pulled. I notice brown branches and stems because they are not being trimmed. I notice...I notice...I notice....now....how many times did I thank him for taking care of us with what seemed like such simple things? Those simple things that are so magnified now.
Today I realized how much I missed the back door opening. My first Friday back to the routine, and 1pm came and went and no door opened. So yes, you guessed it..I cried. Actually I cried much earlier than that when I realized the door was not going to open at 1pm. How much I missed seeing my boy floating in the pool with a Coke Zero and a cigar and yes, I can't believe I'm going to say this....I wouldn't mind the Rush Limbaugh babble either.
I am so very very grateful and thankful for all my precious friends that have been there for me these months. You were there before, during, and you are still here now. I appreciate all the little things and all the big things you have done to care for me and the girls, and show us that we are loved. My thank you notes still sit here, with no good excuse for not being sent. I hope you all know that each and everything little to big thing has not gone unnoticed by me or the girls. We are overwhelmed by the outpouring of love for us.
I encourage each of you to find love and joy in the small things. Don't let them go unnoticed. The things you take for granted might be the very thing you'd miss if it was gone. Take a moment to acknowledge the small things or big things that others do that are really being done from the heart. They might not even realize they are loving you by doing it....and what a difference you will make in their life, and yours, by noticing it........
thanks so much Tami. awesome and inspiring to read. thanks for posting.. please, keep it up. -- Mark
ReplyDeleteWow . . . Moni B.
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