I know HE watches me....

How do you measure time?
In seconds? minutes? hours? days? months? years?
Sometimes time takes forever,sometimes it goes too quickly. SOMETIMES IT JUST STANDS STILL....

4 months ago, 123 days ago, 2952 hours ago, 177,120 minutes ago, 10, 627,200 seconds ago my life changed forever.
10,627,199 seconds ago I was married and 10,627,200 seconds ago I became a widow. What a difference a moment makes....

I just was thinking today of time because I thought of all the things we were going to do...in time. Instead of going to Hawaii for our 20th anniversary, we decided on our 25th. Now I look back and think..why didn't we do the 20th, or the 21st or the 16 1/2. What does time matter? If you wait to do things until a certain moment in time, it might be too late. I will never get to do all the things we planned...in time....because time in that chapter of my life is forever stopped.

I think about milestones......anniversaries and birthdays celebrated in 5 year increments once you reach a certain point. Does it make those years inbetween any less significant? You don't see napkins that say "Happy 54th birthday", or "Happy 23rd Anniversary". My sweet guy will never celebrate his 54th birthday. And we will never get to celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary. We never knew our 22nd anniversary would be our last and I don't think we even celebrated it because it fell on Thanksgiving weekend and we were traveling. So our last anniversary together was spent traveling in a van. But at least we were together...

"Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today." 

How many times have you said "SOMEDAY"? How many times have you said "LATER"? I've said it plenty of times. And there are so many of my "somedays" and "laters" that are now "NEVER".

This is not to say that every "someday" and "later" were ever going to be feasible, practical, or attainable. Just that now they will never be.

Take a moment to think about things in your life. And then rethink...do something out of the ordinary, out of the norm, out of the routine. Just trying to get myself to think of time more...I waste time and you can't get it back as hard as you try. I watch endless episodes of TV shows that I have seen dozens of times...wasting time....time not serving God, time not being productive, time not blessing others. Wasted and lost time.

Sometimes our time is lost on things that will never be again....relationships that were not meant to sustain every season of our life. I want my time left on this earth to be blessed not stressed!! I want my time left to be spent with those that uplift rather than drag down. I pray that use my time being a lifter and not a dragger.

As I write this...4 months ago almost to the very minute, my hand was on my sweetie's heart waiting for him to take his last breath on this earth. Time stood still in that moment. I was surrounded by people, but yet everything around me faded as it was just my moment with him...his last moments, my last moments....and when he breath his last breath at 11:45pm...at 11:45pm and 1 second I was very aware of what a difference a moment makes.....Be aware of your moments..and treasure each one......