The Bible verse that we chose to be TEAM DAVE's verse is Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Discouraged...yep...that's what I have been...discouraged. Afterall he's been gone almost 4 years. What does it matter anymore?...let someone else do it now. There has to be some family out there that this loss is newer for them and it has more meaning because it's so fresh. But....does it truly ever get "stale"?
Fast forward to Wednesday, the night of our fundraiser at Zachary's. Great night, great food, great people and a great fundraiser. People who loved Dave, who love our family came out. And the one that especially stood out to me was someone that I didn't even know. I had some awesome friends handing out flyers in the front of the restaurant that night but I happened to grab a few and hand one to a young family coming in. When I said what we were raising money for the girl started to cry...she lost her dad to the same cancer a year ago that Dave had..in fact today is the one year anniversary of the day she drove him to the hospital with the fever...I can relate. Monday will be the one year anniversary of the day they intubated him and never got to speak to him again... I can relate...and in the days ahead will be the anniversary of the day that he lost his battle with AML and went to be healed eternally...again I can relate.
On the way out of the fundraiser, she was so awed by our fabulous music that she asked if she could get their information to hire them for a family gathering. I gave her my contact information and told her that it was a group of great musicians and singers that came together that night for the cause, but she could contact me when she was ready and I'd get her in touch to see what they could put together.
Today there is a message on the my phone from her but not about the music, instead wondering if I'd be willing to meet with her and her mom to just talk. I texted her back and told her that I would love to meet with them. We chatted for a bit and I said "when your mom is ready, I can be ready". She shared these words from her mom after that...."I don't want it to show me you can survive, because I know I can survive. I would like to see someone who can show me that there is a little glimmer of light in the future!" And then the daughter wrote "Oh Momma, wait until you meet her!" I had only had maybe 5 minutes with this beautiful young lady that night, talking just in passing.
I always pray for God to show me my purpose. It's harder to see these days of just working and going to bed, waking up and working...you get the idea. Am I making a difference...for Him? It's not a glory thing I am after. I just want my life to mean something. I struggle so much with this in a daily routine that leaves little room for bringing people to know Jesus. I miss making a difference in children's lives each day. God's plan has me in a different place right now. So I wait for Him to show me where I need to be and what I need to be doing for His Kingdom.
And just maybe today's phone message brought me a glimpse of this plan. I've had a hard time getting together with other widow's. I'm so happy for the ones that can do it. I just can't. So what makes this one different? It might be because her story seems to be very close to mine...same disease, same last days...same wonder of the future.
Praying that as I prepare to meet with this special lady and the daughter that I will be strong and courageous, that I will not be terrified or worried, and that I will be encouraged that God has given me a way to shine a light for Him in a very unique and unexpected way.
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